


it's you, it's you, it's all for you, everything i do

by wolhee



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Homophobia, M/M, implied prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-11-21 22:48:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11367222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolhee/pseuds/wolhee
Summary: There are some days when Jongin is in love with the words best friend. Other times, Jongin hates those words with a passion.





	it's you, it's you, it's all for you, everything i do

**Author's Note:**

> crossposted from [livejournal](http://wolhee.livejournal.com/6694.html)  
> warnings: implied prostitution, homophobia, past members

Jongin finds the older boy in a club. He's pale and has large doe eyes and if there's only one word that Jongin can associate with him it's _pretty_. He rolls and waves his body to the flow of the music against Jongin's, and when he leans forward to whisper _let's get out of here_ into Jongin's ear, it's enough for him to drag the other back with him to his apartment. By the time he has him in his bed, Jongin has already forgotten his name. Lutan or Luhan─ something like that.

He lets Lutan (Luhan?) fuck him on his hands and knees, fingers wet with lube and breath hot against the back of his neck. "You're so tight." The other groans against his shoulder as he slaps his hips against Jongin's thighs at a jackhammer pace. The younger doesn't even hear him; he's too busy listening for the door. The clock on Jongin's bedside table reads 1:07 AM, and he knows that _he_ would be getting home soon.

Jongin brightens when he finally hears the door to the apartment opening a while later, and Luhan (he's pretty sure it's Luhan) pauses in his thrusts, eyebrows furrowing. The door to Jongin's bedroom is left ajar and from the opening the two of them can see a figure by the front door taking his shoes off.

"Should we─"

"Don't stop." Jongin insists, speaking for the first time. His face is pressed against the sheets and he begins mouthing his cries against the fabric when Luhan's long thrusts turn short and frantic as the older picks up again. He frowns when the figure outside walks past his door without even glancing into the room and begins crying out louder, mewling like a cat in heat.

"Your boyfriend?"

"No." Jongin whimpers when Luhan begins pounding him into the mattress, his ass bouncing back against the cock fucking into him. He can hear the sound of a shower being turned on from somewhere in the apartment. "Best friend."

"Hmm..." Luhan hums absentmindedly as he leans down, covering Jongin with his body. The younger feels his dick rub against the sheets with each slam of the older's hips against his thighs and he shudders violently, squeezing his ass around the hard cock inside him. He can tell Luhan is close from the way his thrusts have turned sporadic.

The older pulls out at the last moment before he comes and paints the younger's thighs with white. With a groan, Luhan collapses on top of him, face pressed against the back of the younger's neck as he fights to catch his breath. Jongin is too busy straining his ears for the sounds of the shower to even notice his own cock, lying still hard against his stomach, pressed into the mattress.

"Leave it." Jongin says when the older flips him over and reaches for his dick. Luhan pauses for a moment before leaning forward, presumably for a kiss, but Jongin turns his head away and the older's lips meet a soft cheek instead. "You should go."

Luhan hesitates for a moment before a scoff escapes his lips and he's getting up, reaching for his clothes that lay scattered on the floor. "Fine," he says as he hastily pulls them on. "I'll see you around?" Jongin is too busy staring at the wall and straining his ears to answer, and the older scoffs again before he leaves, slamming the door to the apartment behind him.

The moment he's gone Jongin reaches for his cock, hot and hard, leaking precome against his stomach. He shuts his eyes and pictures long limbs, wet hair, beads of moisture rolling across broad shoulders, water cascading down a lean back─

He explodes into his own hand with a low groan just as the shower turns off, and he lays there for a moment, chest heaving as he catches his breath. Jongin is still for all of two minutes before he's jumping up, hastily yanking his boxers back on as he wipes the drying come off of his stomach. The moment he deems himself presentable enough, he's bolting out of his room and into the one right next to his.

By the time he gets there, Chanyeol is already sitting on his bed, wearing boxers and a t-shirt. His hair is still damp from his shower and he has a towel hanging around his shoulders.

"Hey," Jongin greets from the doorway, breathless. "You're back." Chanyeol looks up at the sound of his voice and Jongin can feel himself flushing as the older takes in his disheveled appearance. It takes him a moment to remember that he still has dried come on his stomach.

"Jonginnie." Chanyeol greets. He looks tired, but he smiles at the boy nonetheless. "Hi."

Jongin hesitates for a moment longer before he grins and launches himself into the older's bed, curling up into his side. "Hi," he says cutely as Chanyeol shakes his head at him. "How was your day?"

"Fine." The older answers as he begins toweling his hair dry. "Who was that?" He asks nonchalantly. "New boyfriend?"

"No." Jongin answers quickly, watching the older's reaction. "Some guy I met in a club. I don't even remember his name."

Chanyeol doesn't answer but he stares at the boy for a beat longer than usual before he looks away. His hair is dry now but Jongin notices that he keeps running his towel through it all the same. "I see." Chanyeol says finally, and Jongin can feel his face fall when the older gets up to put his towel away.

Chanyeol frowns when he returns to the sight of Jongin wrapped up in his blankets, blinking innocently up at the older male. "Not today, Jonginnie." He sighs. "I have to get up early for work tomorrow."

"Please, Chanyeol?" Jongin asks, the smile slipping off of his face. "You won't even notice I'm here."

" _Jonginnie_."

" _Please_ , hyung?"

Chanyeol frowns for a moment longer before he sighs and climbs into bed with the younger, wrapping an arm around his waist as he spoons him from behind. "You know I can't say no to you." He murmurs when Jongin turns to face him and curls into his chest.

"Hyung?" Jongin asks quietly once silence has enveloped them. "Kiss me?"

Chanyeol just stares at him without saying a word before he pulls Jongin in to press their lips together.  
  
  
  
  


When Chanyeol wakes up at exactly 6:03 AM the next morning, Jongin is already awake. He pretends to be asleep the moment he feels the older shifting in his arms, and continues to feign sleep when Chanyeol gets up to brush his teeth in the bathroom.

At 6:07 AM Chanyeol's phone lights up with a text and Jongin reaches for it, propping himself up into a comfortable position in bed. Jongin can feel his gaze darken when he sees the name of the sender, _Boss_. He swipes the phone to unlock it, (password: 0114, his birthday) and stares blankly at the words on the screen. The text is short: _Pick you up in 10_.

Jongin sets the phone down and drops his head back onto the pillow when he hears the door of the bathroom opening. Jongin frowns to himself when Chanyeol reenters the room and the smell of the older's cologne invades his senses. Even without looking, Jongin knows that Chanyeol will be wearing an expensive dress shirt, black suit strewn over his arm with his hair slicked back. Jongin also knows that when Chanyeol gets back that evening, his collared shirt will be unbuttoned and his hair will be a mess.

Jongin holds his breath when he hears Chanyeol pick up his phone, only to release it when he feels the bed dip under the weight of the older male. "Bye, Jonginnie." Chanyeol whispers as he leans down to press a kiss to the younger's cheek. "Have a nice day."

Jongin continues to fake being asleep until he hears the sounds of a familiar engine pulling up outside and the front door to the apartment slamming shut behind Chanyeol as the older leaves for work.

"Bye," Jongin says to no one in particular when he finally sits up in the older's bed. "Have a nice day."  
  
  
  
  


The first time Jongin had plopped down in front of his neighbor's door, Chanyeol had been in high school and the boy was just barely growing into the oversized t-shirt on his back.

Chanyeol had just been getting home from school when he found him there, and he pursed his lips at the sight. In the end he chose to ignore the boy as he dug through his pockets for the key to his apartment. Jongin hadn't spared the older male a glance, either. Instead he chose to stare down at his grubby knees, and Chanyeol had ignored him as he stepped inside and closed the door.

Chanyeol was fine until it began to rain a few hours later, and ultimately it was his guilty conscience that led to him opening the door and finding the boy still sitting there. Jongin hadn't said a word when he stood up and marched right in, much to Chanyeol's chagrin.

"What do you want, kid?" He asked when he followed the boy inside. Jongin had just plopped down onto a sofa before he finally turned to acknowledge the older male.

"My parents are fighting." Was all he had said as he brought his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around his legs.

Chanyeol hadn't even blinked as he crossed his arms. "So?"

Of course the Kim's were fighting. The entire apartment complex could hear them going at it every night. That still didn't explain why their young son was sitting on the couch in his apartment.

"I can stay for a while, right?" Jongin had asked simply as he looked up to stare boldly at the older male.

Chanyeol felt his eyes narrow as he frowned at the boy before him. The Kim's fought a lot at home, but outside they were a well-to-do, proper family that was extremely religious. They definitely would not want their son hanging around the likes of Chanyeol, and he certainly did not want to be caught on their bad side, either.

But Jongin had been staring up at him, in an oversized t-shirt and scraped knees, and there really wasn't anything else he could do.

"Leave before it gets too late." Was all he had said before he turned to walk into his room.  
  
  
  
  


The next afternoon Chanyeol had ran into Jongin and his mother in front of the elevator when he was returning home from school. Mrs. Kim had immediately glared at the sight of him and shifted her young son away, but not before Jongin had looked up and caught Chanyeol's eye.

The elevator arrived then and Jongin had flashed him a quick smile before his mother yanked him into it, muttering darkly under her breath about heathens while she shut the doors before Chanyeol could get on.  
  
  
  
  


_You're not here again?_ _I'll take notes for you._

Jongin glances quickly at the words on the screen before he slips his phone into his back pocket. Phones weren't allowed during working hours, and although he wasn't worried about being fired from his job at the convenience store across from his school any time soon, he didn't want to be seen with it.

The sender was Kyungsoo, an older boy Jongin had sat next to in Musical Theory class at his university last semester. Jongin had stopped responding to his texts after he let the older fuck him in the back of a music room a little over a month ago, but that didn't stop Kyungsoo from sending him messages asking how he was every once in a while.

Today marks the third week Jongin has not gone to school, and a sigh escapes his lips when he thinks about how Chanyeol would react if he knew. Jongin knew that Chanyeol worked hard to be able to afford paying for Jongin's tuition and the apartment's rent. He worked hard, amongst doing other things.

When Jongin remembers what exactly it is that Chanyeol does to pay for his tuition, his gaze darkens and his guilt immediately disappears.

Jongin is pulled from his thoughts when the door chimes as someone walks into the store, and he looks up to find a boy around his age walk in. The boy walks down the aisles calmly and it takes a Jongin a moment before he recognizes him at the owner's son, Sehun.

Sehun grabs a bottle of coke and is about to exit the store when Jongin calls after him. "That'll be 2500 won."

The boy pauses, one hand on the door, before he turns back to look at Jongin. "What?"

"2500 won." Jongin repeats. "That's how much that drink costs."

Sehun blinks before a scoff escapes his lips. "You must be new," he says as he approaches Jongin, setting the bottle of coke down onto the counter. "Do you know who I am?"

"I know." Jongin answers simply, "Sehun. The owner's boss. That'll be 2500 won."

Sehun stares at the older, momentarily stunned, before he laughs and pulls a 5000 won bill out of his pocket and hands it to Jongin. "You're different." He says as Jongin gets him his change. "Normally people would let me do what I want because they're afraid I can get them fired."

"Your father, Junmyeon? He won't be firing me any time soon." Jongin says nonchalantly as he hands Sehun his change. "Not unless he wants people finding out about how he fucked me on this counter."

"Wow." Sehun whistles, "You're not joking, are you?"

"Why would I be joking?"

"What's your name?"

"That's none of your business." Jongin answers coldly. "You can leave now."

Sehun laughs before he picks up his bottle and walks out of the door. "See you around, Jongin."

Jongin frowns, hands flying up to cover up his nametag too late.  
  
  
  
  


When Chanyeol returns home that evening, just as Jongin had expected, his hair is a mess and his neatly pressed shirt from that morning is wrinkled and lopsided. Jongin tries to ignore the bite marks littering the older's collarbone when he greets him, tries not to imagine how they got there.

Jongin is sitting on the couch when Chanyeol tumbles into the apartment, and the older's face breaks out into a grin when he sees him. "Jonginnie!" He calls excitedly, tripping over his own feet and landing in the younger's lap. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Jongin says softly as he runs his fingers through the older's hair, nose wrinkling when the strong scent of alcohol hits him. "Are you drunk?"

"I might have had a little to drink." Chanyeol admits.

"You're going to have a hangover in the morning."

"That's not good." The older slurs, frowning. "I have work tomorrow."

Jongin's face darkens at the older's words. "I wish you didn't have to work so hard." He says finally. "I wish you didn't have to work so hard for me."

"If I don't work then you can't go to school."

"Chanyeol─"

"Hyung," the other interrupts. "I like it when you call me hyung, Jonginnie."

"Okay then, hyung." Jongin sighs, smiling in spite of himself when the older flashes him a wide grin. It lasts for about ten seconds before he feels the smile slip off of his face when he catches sight of something shiny wrapped around Chanyeol's wrist. "Did he buy you this?" Jongin asks, taking the older's hand in his and lifting his wrist up to get a better look at the object. It's a shiny watch that looks expensive, much too expensive to be something Chanyeol would buy for himself.

"Hmm..." The older hums quietly. "I told him I didn't need anything but he never listens."

"Hyung," Jongin begins softly. "That man, do you─" His words are cut off when Chanyeol sits up suddenly, pushing the younger down onto the couch so he could straddle his waist.

"Jonginnie," He says. "Let's not talk about him."

"Okay," The younger answers, breathless. "Let's not."

Chanyeol smiles before he leans down, pinning Jongin against the couch as he presses his mouth against the other's. Their lips move against each other languidly as Jongin wraps his thighs around the older's waist, letting out a small noise in the back of his throat as he grips Chanyeol's hair tightly with his fingers.

Chanyeol's phone begins vibrating in the back pocket of his pants but he doesn't even bother to untwine himself from the younger boy, instead choosing to kiss him even harder, lazily parting Jongin's lips open with his tongue. They breathe heavily through their noses and when they finally part their lips are swollen.

"Hyung, I lo─"

Chanyeol sits up abruptly, yanking the phone out of his pocket before the younger can finish speaking. "Hello?" He answers, breathless. Jongin can feel the words die in his throat. "Okay, I'll be there right now."

"Hyung?"

"Sorry, Jonginnie." Chanyeol says as he hangs up and slides the phone back into his pocket. Jongin notices how he avoids his gaze as he does so. "I have to go."

"Now? It's so late."

"I know, but if I don't go he'll get mad."

"But, hyung─"

"Sorry, Jonginnie." Chanyeol says quickly, flashing the younger a smile that doesn't reach his eyes as he stands up. "I have to go."

Jongin knows that Chanyeol won't stay, even if he calls after him. He never does. So he remains silent, long after the older has left.  
  
  
  
  


There are some days where Jongin is in love with the words best friend.

He repeats them to himself over and over with a lazy smile on his face in the early mornings while running a finger along the pale expanse of Chanyeol's spine. This causes the older male to shiver and he smiles at him sleepily through his bangs before wrapping his arms around Jongin's neck and pulling him in for a slow, long kiss.

Other times, Jongin hates those words with a passion.

He hates those words when Chanyeol comes home late at night reeking of sweat and alcohol. He hates them when the older male climbs into his bed, mistaking Jongin's room for his own through the drunken haze of his mind. He hates those words when Chanyeol wraps his arms around his waist, when the older male drunkenly strokes the skin of his back, when he feels Chanyeol's erection poking into his thigh through the fabric of his tight leather jeans.

It's hard to keep from crying when Chanyeol unknowingly presses sloppy kisses to his lips, not realizing what he does to him.  
  
  
  
  


Chanyeol had been drunk the first time Jongin had kissed him, too.

"My mother told me you were a child of Satan because you slept with men." Jongin had said, "I didn't say anything but I wanted to tell her she was full of shit."

Chanyeol had just laughed. "I got fucked today," he said simply. "It's how I pay my rent." Jongin was silent and the older male had smiled at him. "We all have to do what we can to get by, Jonginnie."

Jongin had kissed him then, and when he pulled away the older male just stared back at him with a blank expression on his face. His eyes were dazed and the taste of alcohol was strong on his tongue and Jongin had began to wonder if he had made the wrong decision.

But then Chanyeol was wrapping a warm arm around his waist and pulling him in for another and his breath was hot against his skin as his tongue slipped inside his mouth and suddenly everything tasted like Chanyeol, and everything was okay.

When he finally pulled away they lay side by side, cheeks flushed and chests heaving on the floor of Chanyeol's apartment. Jongin had glanced at the older male before looking back up to the ceiling, the smell of alcohol heavy in the air.

"You're drunk." He had said, more as a statement than as a question.

Chanyeol had flashed a smirk in his direction before pulling a cigarette out of his pocket. The sight of Chanyeol smoking was almost erotic and Jongin stared at the older male as he brought the joint to his lips. Jongin wished he could wrap his legs around the older's waist and suck the smoke out of him. He wished he could be that cigarette.

Chanyeol looked back at him when he noticed the younger male staring and he lazily held the cigarette out to him.

"Want some?"

"Are you trying to defile your underage neighbor?"

Chanyeol had scoffed and rolled his eyes at the boy's words, "It's too late for that." He had slurred under his breath as he put the cigarette out.

"Do you want to defile me?" Jongin asked, rolling onto his side. He knew that Chanyeol wouldn't remember the conversation in the morning.

He heard a chuckle behind him before a warm hand was snaking around his waist and long legs were tangling with his. Chanyeol had hugged him from behind and a shiver ran down Jongin's spine when he felt the older's lips against the back of his neck.

"God, I love you." Chanyeol whispered under his breath as he pressed his forehead to Jongin's back. "You're perfect."

Jongin had smiled and felt Chanyeol's fingers slipping under his shirt. They felt cool against his heated skin, and he sighed in contentment when Chanyeol's breath fanned against his skin. He wished they could have stayed like that forever, but he had known in a few hours that his mother would call to ask where he was and his father would start screaming and his perfect world would be shattered once again.

That thought made Jongin's heart twist and turn in painful ways, but then Chanyeol was running a finger against his abdomen and suddenly everything was okay again.  
  
  
  
  


Sehun is waiting for Jongin when he walks into work the next day, and the younger takes one look at his disheveled appearance before a low whistle escapes his lips.

Jongin is limping, his hair mussed and stuck to his forehead with sweat. The low cut of his shirt leaves little to the imagination, highlighting the bite marks littered across his collarbones.

"Why do you keep showing up here?" Jongin asks darkly as he shoves past Sehun to get behind the counter.

"I'm bored," Sehun says cheekily as he stares the older up and down. "So I came to torment you." Jongin rolls his eyes but doesn't say anything so the younger continues. "My dad didn't do that, did he?" He asks, eyeing the bite marks on the older's skin. "Because that mental image is rather disturbing."

"Of course not." Jongin scoffs as he slips his uniform vest on. "I never let the same person fuck me twice."

"Who was the lucky guy then?"

"An old classmate." Jongin shrugs. "I met him on the street and he agreed to give me a ride. That's all."

"He agreed to give you a _ride_?" Sehun asks, wiggling his eyebrows at the older and bursting into laughter at the exasperated look Jongin gives him in return.

(Jongin actually _had_ ridden Baekhyun in the backseat of the older male's car, but Sehun didn't need to know about that.)

"You know," The younger begins again after he's calmed down. "As much as I would like to believe that you're a raging nymphomaniac, I can't help but feel like there's a reason you keep passing yourself around like this."

"What do you know?" Jongin asks darkly.

"Well, for one thing, you haven't thrown yourself at me yet."

Jongin scoffs, rolling his eyes at the younger male. "Sorry, but you're not my type."

"You have a type?" Sehun asks, raising an eyebrow. "Because I'm pretty sure my dad doesn't fit any type unless you have a thing for middle-aged men with money..." He trails off quietly, watching Jongin's reaction. It takes a moment for the older to understand what the other is trying to say, and when he does his eyes flash with anger.

"I'm not a _whore_." He hisses, offended.

"I didn't say you were." Sehun corrects, quickly backpedaling.

Jongin opens his mouth to retort back but before he can get the words out of his mouth he sees a familiar black car pulling up outside of the convenience store, and an even more familiar figure getting out of the back seat. "Shit." He curses, yanking the uniform vest off as he ducks under the counter and reemerges on the other side.

"What─"

"Here, wear this." Jongin snaps as he pushes the vest into Sehun's hands and shoves him under the counter.

"Jongin, what─"

"Jonginnie?" The door chimes as Chanyeol steps into the convenience store, and Jongin turns to look at him rigidly. "What are you doing here? Don't you have class?"

"I'm on a break right now," Jongin lies smoothly, ignoring the curious glances Sehun shoots at him as the younger slides the vest on. Chanyeol's gaze darts from Jongin's eyes to a lower spot and Jongin knew that he was staring at the bite marks littering his collarbones. "I came to see my friend, Sehun."

"Oh." Chanyeol says, blinking as he looks up to smile at Sehun. "Nice to meet you. I'm Chanyeol, Jongin's roommate."

"Hi." Sehun says, playing along. "Can I get you anything?"

"Can I have a pack of cigarettes?"

Sehun hesitates for a moment, flashing Jongin a look, and the older motions with a tilt of his head to the cabinet in the back where the cigarettes were kept. "Right." Sehun says finally, "Let me just grab them."

"I thought you quit." Jongin says once Sehun has left.

"They're not for me." Chanyeol answers after a moment of hesitation. "They're for Yifan."

"Oh." Jongin blinks, turning to glance at the black car Chanyeol had arrived in. The windows are tinted so he can't see inside, but he can imagine the expression on the face of the man sitting behind them. He hadn't noticed it before, but now he feels the eyes of the man inside watching him. "Where are you two going?" He asks nonchalantly.

"Yifan has a dinner party to attend."

"So you're going as his little boy toy?" Jongin asks, noticing the expensive suit Chanyeol is wearing for the first time. His voice comes out harsher than he had intended. "You're going so he can prance around and show you off like a dog?"

"Jongin." Chanyeol says curtly. That shuts the younger up; Chanyeol never called him that. "Let's not talk about this." The older says finally, exhaling loudly through his nose. He stares at the younger, and Jongin notices how tired Chanyeol looks. Even then, he doesn't get angry at Jongin. He just stares at him, infinitely patient.

Jongin opens his mouth to respond but before he can, Sehun joins them again, cigarettes in hand. "Sorry," he says awkwardly, noticing the tension in the air. "Am I interrupting?"

"No." Chanyeol reassures him, flashing the younger a smile that doesn't reach his eyes as he pays Sehun. "Thank you."

He turns to leave but Jongin reaches out to grab at the sleeve of his jacket before he can go, not wanting the other to leave on a sour note. "Jonginnie?" Chanyeol asks, glancing back at the boy.

"Sorry." Jongin says, immediately releasing the older. He flushes when he sees the puzzled expression on Sehun's face from the corner of his eye. "Your tie is crooked." He mumbles, standing up on his tip toes so he can fix it. "There."

"Thanks, Jonginnie." Chanyeol smiles at him, and this time, it reaches his eyes. He leans forward, as if to kiss him, but Jongin steps back, face flushing even deeper. Chanyeol freezes, eyebrows furrowing as his face falls.

"Don't." Jongin says under his breath, glancing out the window to where the black car sat waiting. "He's watching."

"Right." Chanyeol says, straightening himself up immediately. "I'll see you, then." His expression remains passive but Jongin has known him long enough to tell when he's faking.

"Bye." He says quietly. Chanyeol's gaze lingers on him for a moment longer before the older turns to leave.

"Interesting." Sehun hums the moment the door closes behind Chanyeol's back. "Is he in love with you?"

Jongin doesn't respond; he's too busy staring at Chanyeol's receding figure, his eyes lingering long after the car has turned the corner and gone. Jongin has known Chanyeol for years, but it still hurts like a fresh wound every time he has to watch the older leave again.

"The better question," he says finally, voice so low he isn't sure if Sehun can even hear him. "Is if I'm in love with him."

 

 

 

  
Jongin was usually able to put up pretty well with the insults his father would throw at him. He had long gotten used to the incessant shouting in his household, and when one grew up hearing themselves being called a failure, they tended to get used to it somewhere along the line.

But when he had heard the man call Chanyeol a whore who spread his legs for money, a disgusting fag, and a number of other obscenities, he hadn't been able to stop himself from seeing red and hissing sharply, "You're full of fucking shit."

So it came as no surprise when Chanyeol opened his door one day to find the younger boy standing before him, lip split and cheeks bruising.

The older male sighed as he let the boy in, shaking his head. "Couldn't keep your mouth shut?"

"He called you a whore, a fag, and said that you would burn in hell for an eternity because of the unspeakable sins you have committed." Jongin had replied as he settled down on Chanyeol's couch.

"And then?" Chanyeol asked as he brought ice and pressed it to the boy's purpling bruise.

"I said what I've been wanting to say for years and told him he was full of shit."

Chanyeol just sighed, shaking his head. "Idiot."

"You're not mad at all?" Jongin had asked incredulously.

"I'm upset that you got hit but he's your dad so there's not much I can do." Chanyeol answered absentmindedly as he inspected the boy's cheek. "I think that's going to leave a mark."

"That's not what I meant." Jongin had snapped, frustrated. "You're not mad?"

"About what?"

"About what he called you!"

"It's nothing that I haven't been called before." Chanyeol replied nonchalantly with a shrug.

"Well I'm mad." Jongin had said stubbornly.

"You'll be fine after a few hours." Chanyeol sighed, shaking his head. "Then you're going to go home and apologize to your father."

"No, I'm not going back." The boy had pouted, crossing his arms around his chest.

"What, are you running away to your neighbor's apartment? So much for your great escape." Chanyeol joked sarcastically.

"No, really. I'm not going back." Jongin repeated. "I told him I liked boys."

At that Chanyeol had froze, his hands growing still against the boy's cheek.

"Jongin─"

"It's true!" The boy insisted, "Now he knows and he'll never let me back. Good riddance, I say."

"You're going back in the morning." Chanyeol had said sharply, ignoring the boy's protests. "You're going back and you're apologizing and you're going to tell him that you didn't mean it."

"But I do!"

"You don't." Chanyeol said firmly, "You just think that because─ Shit, I never should have kissed you, I really did defile you─ I made you all confused and, shit."

"That's not true, hyung!" Jongin had huffed, "I've liked guys before you─"

"No, you're just confused!"

"Hyung!"

"You're going back, your mother─"

"Doesn't care about me." Jongin finished darkly, "She can't even stand up for herself, I don't need her."

"Jongin."

Chanyeol had started pacing back and forth and Jongin stared at him, eyes wide with confusion. He had never seen Chanyeol like this, and he didn't understand why he was reacting the way he was. Jongin had thought that Chanyeol would be happy for his decision, that he would accept him with open arms.

"Hyung..." Jongin had said quietly, "Could it be that you're... trying to get rid of me?" At that Chanyeol froze and had turned to look at the boy who had gone rigid on the couch. "Am I annoying you? Are you tired of me?"

Jongin's voice broke when he reached the final sentence and Chanyeol had immediately deflated. With a sigh he sat down beside the boy on the couch and wrapped his arms around him.

"Sorry," He said quietly, pressing his lips to the boy's forehead. "Sorry."

"Do you want me to leave?" Jongin had whispered. His lips had begun to quiver and the boy cursed to himself when he felt his eyes begin to water. "I can't go back."

"I know, okay." Chanyeol replied reassuringly. "I don't want you to leave, I'm sorry. You're just so young."

"I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

"I know." Chanyeol sighed. He clutched the fabric of Jongin's shirt and held him tighter to his chest. He suddenly felt his heart ache in ways he couldn't explain. "You're not going to regret this, right?" He had whispered, "In a few years you're not going to suddenly realize what a reckless teenager you were and leave me, right?"

"Of course not."

"I don't know what I'd do without you." Chanyeol admitted, his voice soft. "Don't leave me."

"Silly, you were the one who was trying to leave me."  
  
  
  
  


"Are you sure you should be drinking so much?" Sehun asks when Jongin opens another can of beer. The older raises an eyebrow at him but doesn't say anything, and Sehun sighs before leaning back against the couch, rolling his eyes. "Suit yourself." He mutters under his breath.

The two of them are sitting in the older's apartment, empty beer cans littered around them. Most of them had been finished by Jongin, although Sehun had drank quite a few himself.

"Well, it's nice to know the cause of your self-diagnosed nymphomania." The younger says cheerfuly a moment later.  

"And what would that be?" Jongin slurs, frowning.

"This roommate of yours, Chanyeol was it?"

Jongin scoffs, rolling his eyes, while Sehun merely stares at him with a knowing look in his eyes. "He's my best friend." He says quietly. "That's all."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Well, maybe that's what you are to him." Sehun states, "But he definitely means more to you than that."

"Shut up."

"Is that why you sleep with so many people? To get his attention?"

"Shut _up!_ " Jongin snarls, his voice rising. "What do you know? You don't know anything. He's my best friend. That's all." Sehun watches in silence as Jongin's chest heaves up and down. "That's all." Jongin repeats finally, his voice falling back down to a whisper. "Nothing more, nothing less. That's all I _can_ be."

"Why is that?" Sehun asks once Jongin has stopped talking. "You obviously care about him a lot, and he─"

"He doesn't feel the same way."

"But the kiss─"

"That doesn't mean anything." The older cuts him off firmly, fingers clenching around the can in his hand. "Our kisses mean nothing. We kiss because we trust each other, nothing more."

"You two are so complicated." Sehun sighs. "Why can't you just tell him that you love him?"

"Because he means so much more to me than that." Jongin says softly, "And I can't lose him, not over something like this."

"You know what I think?" Sehun says suddenly. He slides closer to Jongin on the couch, and the younger turns to look at him. His eyes are slightly glazed but Sehun can tell from the look of recognition behind them that the older is sober enough. "I think you should forget about this guy and go for someone less complicated."

"Oh?" Jongin asks, laughing in spite of himself. Sehun is so close now, the younger's hand is resting on his thigh. "Like who?"

"Like me." Sehun replies. "I'm a pretty simple guy." He looks into the older's eyes, as if searching for rejection. When Jongin doesn't push him away, he leans forward and presses their lips together.  
  
  
  
  


Jongin and Chanyeol ended up running away together.

It happened when Chanyeol jerked awake in the dead of the night to the sound of glass shattering and loud, drunken screams coming from the apartment above his. Jongin, having snuck into his bed late at night, sat beside him, the boy's eyes wide with unmistakable fear even in the dark as his father's threats of murdering him reached them from the open window.

Chanyeol had taken his hand without looking at him and said to no one in particular, "Let's go to Seoul."

The next morning they were on a train, Jongin's head lolling sleepily against Chanyeol's shoulder as they left his father behind them for good.

The first few months were bliss. They found a small apartment and Jongin finished high school while Chanyeol worked several part time jobs and looked for full time employment at the same time. Every day was filled with slow, languid kisses and late night shifts, but despite how hard it was to make ends meet, Jongin felt genuinely happy for the first time.

But soon, real life caught up to them. Jongin finished high school and was working part time as well, but even with the added amount of his paycheck it became too hard to pay for all the bills. The first thing they had had to pawn was Chanyeol's guitar.

Jongin had been horrified when the older brought it up. "But hyung," He had said, "You love that guitar! It was a gift from your father! We can't just _sell_ it."

"Don't worry, Jonginnie." Chanyeol had reassured him, smiling that forever patient smile. "I can just buy it back after I get a better job."

"But, hyung─"

Chanyeol had sold the guitar despite Jongin's protests, and it was then that the younger finally realized just how many sacrifices the older had made for him. Chanyeol had abandoned his home for Jongin. He had given up his most precious guitar, and he spent every day working so that he could provide for the younger.

And Jongin, what had Jongin done for Chanyeol? What right did Jongin have to love Chanyeol?

It got harder and harder to make ends meet until one day, Chanyeol finally got a job working at Wu Corporations. A few weeks later, he met his boss, Yifan, for the first time. That night, Chanyeol had been ecstatic when he returned home.

"Jonginnie, guess what?" He had said excitedly, peppering the younger's cheeks with kisses.

"What is it?" Jongin had asked, pulling away with a shy smile.

"You can go to the university you wanted to in the fall!"

"What?" Jongin had asked, stunned. Just a few days ago they had still been struggling to pay the rent. "But how? The tuition─"

"Don't worry about it." Chanyeol had reassured him. "Hyung's new job is enough to pay for it. Just let hyung handle it."

Jongin had decided to believe in Chanyeol like he always did, but it wasn't until weeks later when the older began returning home with expensive presents and bruises scattered across his neck that he realized exactly what kind of job Chanyeol had. It wasn't until then that Jongin realized the full extent of what Chanyeol was willing to do for him.

So what right did he have? What right did Jongin have to call Chanyeol his own? None. He had no right. Jongin could only continue to call himself Chanyeol's best friend, and pray that the older would never realize what a burden he was and leave his side one day.  
  
  
  
  


Jongin wakes up to a pounding headache and black numbers with the words _call me (;_ scrawled onto his forearm. He forces himself to his feet with a groan and walks towards the kitchen for a glass of water. He stumbles and blinks in surprise when he finds Chanyeol already there, his back faced towards him as he washes the dishes.

"Hyung?" Jongin rasps, internally cringing at the sound of his voice.

"Good morning, Jonginnie." Chanyeol greets him. He doesn't turn around, and Jongin frowns when he speaks. Something sounds off in the older's voice.

"When did you get back?"

"This morning." The older says wryly. "I saw your friend."

"Did he say anything?" Jongin asks, groaning internally while simultaneously cursing Sehun's existence.

"No." Chanyeol says quietly. "He just told me to take care of you."

Jongin releases a sigh before walking up to the older and wrapping his arms around his waist. He rests his cheek against Chanyeol's back and shuts his eyes, listening to the spray of the sink. "You always take care of me." He murmurs. "That's all you've ever been doing."

"He seems nice." Chanyeol continues. "Nicer than those other boys you used to bring home─"

"Hyung, I'm sorry." Jongin interrupts suddenly. "I kissed him." Chanyeol doesn't say anything but Jongin can feel the older's back tense beneath his cheek. He doesn't even realize that he's holding his breath until he feels Chanyeol relax again. "Are you mad?"

"Why would I be mad?" Chanyeol sighs. His voice sounds tired and Jongin flinches when he feels the older untangle his arms from around his waist. "You can do whatever you want with your boyfriend."

"Hyung he's not my─" Jongin begins, reaching out for the older once more. He stops speaking when Chanyeol side steps him and begins loading the dishes into the dishwasher, leaving Jongin clutching at empty air. "He's not my boyfriend." He says finally, voice quiet.

Chanyeol is silent and he doesn't speak again until he has finished loading the dishes. He doesn't turn around even once to glance at Jongin, and the younger stares at his back, realizing for the first time just how cold it could be.

"I'm not mad at you, Jonginnie." Chanyeol says finally. His voice is tired, and Jongin strains to listen to the soft thrum of the dishwasher in an attempt to drown out the deafening sounds of his own beating heart. "You can do whatever you want with whoever you want─"

"Do you kiss him, then?" Jongin blurts out before he can stop himself. His face burns and something twists painfully inside of him when Chanyeol turns back to look at him. The older's face is tired, his expression distant, and Jongin feels himself flinch at the sight. "Do you?"

"Jonginnie, why are you─"

"Do you?"

"I do." Chanyeol says finally. "I kiss him."

The older's expression is unreadable and Jongin has to bite down on his bottom lip to stop it from quivering. "Do you like it?" He asks, voice surprisingly level.

"Jonginnie," Chanyeol begins gently. He circles his fingers around the boy's wrist, relaxing his hands, and for the first time Jongin notices the crescent indents he had been digging into his own palms. "I don't think that's any of your business."  
  
  
  
  


There are different types of kisses. There are light bushes of lips against skin and quick, fast kisses through the air. Some are just small pecks of affection, while others are hot and messy kisses on the mouth. Some are for family, while others are for lovers.

What confuses and bothers and flusters Jongin the most is the fact that he's received all of these kisses and more, all from the same person, who also happens to be his best friend.

Kisses with Sehun, on the other hand, are different.

The younger has a hand against his back and another under his chin, and his kiss leaves Jongin flushed and pink and breathless. Something doesn't feel right, though. Something is missing. Jongin doesn't feel like his feet are stuck to the ground when Sehun kisses him. He doesn't feel his heart skip a beat, and there's none of that rushed, fiery desperateness he has learned to expect from Chanyeol's kisses.

"Hey," Sehun says when he pulls away from the older, "I know you're too busy lamenting the fact that I'm not your best friend but could you at least _pretend_ to like it when I make out with you?"

Jongin scoffs, leaning back against the pavement to look up at the sky. He exhales deeply and watches as his cold breath creates a dark, wispy cloud. Jongin is on a break and he and Sehun are sitting side by side on the sidewalk outside of the convenience store.

"Why are you here, Sehun?" Jongin asks finally, glancing at the younger male. He's busy poking a hole into a bottle of banana milk that he hands to the older. "You know I can't give you anything."

"I can say the same for you." Sehun replies, poking a hole into his own bottle. "You never stop me when I kiss you, although I can tell you're not that into it."

"I guess I'm trying to get back at him..." The older trails off quietly. "In my own way."

"He has a boyfriend?"

"Kind of."

"Complicated." Sehun mutters, shaking his head as he sucks noisily on his banana milk.

"Your turn." Jongin says, prodding the younger with his foot. "Why do you keep hanging around here? You're not in love with me, are you?"

"You know, you're not as irresistible as you think you are." Sehun retorts, rolling his eyes at the older who makes a face at him. "The world doesn't revolve around you."

"Piss off." The older laughs, shoving the younger away. "You're the one who made the first move."

"I was drunk, shoot me." Jongin laughs again and Sehun shakes his head. "I guess it's because you're interesting." The younger says finally after a moment of silence. "I want to know what will happen to you, and if you need to use me to find out then so be it."

Jongin is silent before he finally speaks again. "Sehun," He begins quietly. "I really can't give you anything."

"I know."

"But if you want to be friends─"

"Please," Sehun interrupts, making a face. "I've seen the way you treat your so-called best friend, I do _not_ need that in my life, Jonginnie."

Jongin, who had been laughing up until that moment, feels his face fall at the younger's words.

"What is it?

"Don't call me that." The older says quietly.

"What, Jonginnie?" Sehun asks, raising an eyebrow.

"That's his name for me." Jongin mumbles. He begins playing with his fingernails, scratching at his thumbs.

"I thought you were trying to get back at him." Sehun says after a moment of silence. "Don't you think hearing someone else call you that would make him upset?"

"No." Jongin says firmly. "That's the only thing you can't do." He turns to stare at the younger and Sehun blinks, taken aback by the sudden urgency in the older's eyes. "You can kiss me and hold me and act like you love me all you want but that's the only thing you can't do."

 

 

 

 

In the end, Jongin decides to keep Sehun around for convenience purposes more than anything else. Being the son of his boss, it would be hard avoiding the younger male completely, and he was nice to have around on days that he was feeling particularly lonely whenever Chanyeol wasn't home. Like a dog, or an oversized stuffed animal.

"Harsh." Sehun scoffs one day when Jongin tells him exactly that. "Thank you so much for thinking so highly of me."

"I never said I was going to be nice to you." Jongin retorts, sniffling loudly. "If you were expecting someone to hold your hand and braid your hair then you've come to the wrong place."

"Asshole." The younger mutters under his breath, rolling his eyes. The two of them are sitting on Jongin's couch while a horror movie plays on his T.V. Jongin has his head in Sehun's lap and a thick blanket wrapped around his body "No wonder why you're sick."

"Shut up." Jongin snaps, shuddering when something suddenly pops onto the screen before sneezing loudly. "It's your fault that I'm sick."

"Who's idea was it to go skinny dipping at three in the morning?"

" _Yours_."

"Oh."

Suddenly, the front door to the apartment opens and Sehun can feel the older tense for reasons other than the movie.

"Hi, hyung." Jongin calls out when Chanyeol walks into the apartment. He immediately sits up and glances at the older male, only to see an expression flicker across Chanyeol's face when he sees the two sitting on the couch. Before Jongin can put a name to it, the look is gone and the older is impassive once more.

"Hi." Sehun says awkwardly, noticing the tension in the air.

"Hey." Chanyeol says simply. "How are you feeling?"

"Like shit."

The older cracks a smile before he begins walking towards the kitchen. "I bought you soup." He calls over his shoulder. "I'll go warm it up."

Sehun clears his throat once Chanyeol has left the room and pauses the movie. "I should go." He says.

"Why?" Jongin asks, frowning at the younger. "Have some soup before you go."

"What, and watch you two stare lovingly at each other while Chanyeol spoon feeds you?" Sehun asks sarcastically. "No thank you." Jongin scoffs but doesn't say anything and the younger leans forward to ruffle his hair. "Feel better, Jonginnie."

Jongin's smile immediately slides off of his face and he glares at the younger male. "You're not allowed to come back here if you call me that again." He says darkly.

"Sorry," Sehun apologizes quickly. "I forgot."

"Don't forget next time." Jongin continues frowning at the younger until the door slams shut behind him and he gets to his feet, stumbling to the kitchen.

"Hyung!" He whines, blanket dragging on the floor behind him. "My head hurts."

Chanyeol looks up from where he's standing by the stove as Jongin stumbles over to his side. "Let me see." He says softly, pressing the palm of his hand to the younger's forehead. Jongin stares up at him, bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "You're warmer than you were this morning." Chanyeol says, frowning. "Maybe you should go to sleep."

"But you just got back." Jongin pouts. "I was waiting for you."

"I don't want you to get even more sick." The older says gently. "Let's go to bed."

"Don't wanna."

"Jongin." Chanyeol sighs as he approaches the younger. He grabs him by the waist and lifts him up, wrapping Jongin's legs around him. "Listen to your hyung."

"I'm not a kid, hyung." Jongin frowns. He clings to the older nonetheless, resting his chin on Chanyeol's shoulder. It's only after the older male has set him down on his warm sheets that realization hits Jongin and his eyes snap open as he grabs hold of the sleeve of Chanyeol's shirt.

"What is it, Jongin?" Chanyeol asks, voice laced with concern. "Does your head hurt?"

"Hyung." Jongin rasps. His eyes are wide as he stares at the older, and he grips his sleeve even tighter. "Hyung, what did you just call me?"

Understanding floods in Chanyeol's eyes and he releases a sigh as he takes a seat at the edge of Jongin's bed. Gently, he takes Jongin's fingers and untangles them from his sleeve.

"Jongin," Chanyeol begins slowly, pausing when the younger's fingers clench in his hand. "I don't want Sehun to misunderstand." He says finally.

"Misunderstand what?" Jongin asks weakly. Something twists uncomfortably inside of his chest and the boy has a feeling he won't like where the conversation is heading. "What is there to misunderstand? Sehun and I, we're not like that."

"Jongin─"

"You always call me Jonginnie." The younger whispers quietly. His head is reeling but he blinks the dizziness away, determined not to let the conversation end. "I'm _your_ Jonginnie."

Chanyeol releases a sigh and to Jongin, it's the coldest sound he's ever heard. "Jongin," he begins again. He lets go of the boy's hand and Jongin blinks when it falls down onto the sheets. "I think we should stop this."

"Stop _what_?" Jongin asks in alarm, struggling to sit up.

" _This_." Chanyeol says, raising his voice for the first time. Jongin flinches and Chanyeol turns to look at him for the first time. His expression is carefully guarded but Jongin can make out the exhaustion along with another emotion in his gaze. "I'm sorry," he says quietly. "I shouldn't have shouted."

"You didn't" Jongin whispers, his hands hovering awkwardly in his lap. He wants to reach out to Chanyeol, to touch him, to reassure himself that the older was still there, but he couldn't. He was afraid of what he would find if he did.

"We should stop." The older says again. He's not looking at Jongin anymore, instead he's looking at the younger's fingers, as if he wanted to hold them too. "This thing that we have."

"Hyung," Jongin says quietly. He tries and fails to keep his voice from shaking. "Are you tired of me? Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"I'm not trying to get rid of you." Chanyeol answers, looking up to meet Jongin's gaze. For the first time, the younger realizes that the emotion in the older's eyes is _fear_. "I'm doing what I can to keep you with me."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"There are a lot of things that I want." The older whispers. He leans towards the younger, and Jongin blinks when he raises his fingers to ghost across his cheek. "I want them so badly, but I _can't_. I can't have them, Jongin."

"Why can't you?"

"You _know_ why, Jongin."

Chanyeol raises his voice again and the younger flinches away. His eyebrows furrow apologetically immediately afterwards, and Jongin takes a deep breath. "I don't know why." The younger says resolutely, "Tell me."

"I did something wrong, Jongin." Chanyeol says quietly. "You know that. You know what I did was wrong. I shouldn't have done it."

"Hyung," Jongin's voice is trembling and he has to bite back the tears. The air suddenly feels too hot and it's harder for him to breathe. Jongin knows what he has to say, but he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to know the answer. "Do you regret it?" He asks anyway, after a moment of silence.

Chanyeol doesn't answer but the expression on his face is enough for Jongin to understand what he doesn't say. His head is spinning and tears blur his vision, but Jongin forces himself to continue staring at the older anyway.

"Jongin, why are you crying?" Chanyeol asks gently. Jongin can see the alarm in his eyes. "You should lie down," He says, resting a hand against the younger's back as he gently eases him back down into a resting position. "We'll talk about this next time."

"Why do you regret it?" Jongin asks abruptly, his voice breaking.

"Jongin─"

"When did you start regretting it?" The boy demands, his face hot. "When you let me into your apartment the first time? When you kissed me?" Chanyeol doesn't say anything and Jongin continues, digging his nails into the palms of his hands. "Did you regret it when you took me away?"

"I shouldn't have done that."

"Why do you regret it?" Jongin asks, ignoring the older male. "Those times, when everything happened, those were the happiest times of my life."

Something on Chanyeol's face changes, as if his carefully placed mask was cracking, He leans forward on the bed, as if to kiss the younger, but Jongin turns away abruptly before he can reach him.

"Why do you do that?" Jongin's throat is so dry he can barely swallow. "Why do you hold me? Why do you kiss me? Why do you treat me like something I'm not?"

"Jongin, that's not─" The distress has started to creep into Chanyeol's voice

"Don't call me that!" Jongin's heart is pounding heavily in his chest. "Please?" He says finally, his voice softer. "Don't put distance between us."

"Jonginnie," Chanyeol murmurs gently, "I'm not trying to put distance between us, I─"

"Why did you take me away?" Jongin asks abruptly.

Something seems to flash in Chanyeol's eyes before the older is slowly pulling himself to his feet. "Because I'm selfish." He says, voice so low Jongin has to strain his ears to hear it. "I'm sorry, I should go."

Chanyeol is halfway to the door before Jongin scrambles up into a sitting position. "Don't go." He pleads. Something in his voice causes Chanyeol to pause with one hand on the doorknob. "If you love me, the way I love you, then come back."

Chanyeol hesitates for a moment and Jongin feels like his heart is about to leap out of his chest, but then the older is turning around and sitting back down on the edge of the younger's bed once more.

"I love you." Jongin says immediately, reaching forward to curl his fingers into the hem of Chanyeol's shirt. "I love you so much." Jongin knows that he only has one chance and the words come flooding out of him. "Before I met you, I was nothing. I was just a kid, but every day felt like hell. Then you came into my life. You helped me, you made me happy. You rescued me." Chanyeol isn't looking at Jongin but he continues anyway. "Being with you has made me the happiest I've ever been in my entire life." Jongin swallows. "But I'm afraid. Every day I'm with you, I'm afraid. I'm afraid that one day you'll realize what a burden I am. I'm afraid that you'll leave me and I won't be able to hold you back."

"Jonginnie," Chanyeol is turning to look at him for the first time and the endearment in his eyes hits Jongin like a bus. "I'm the one who should be afraid." He says gently, removing the boy's hands from the hem of his shirt and holding them in his own instead. "I took you away from your family. I made your life like this. If it wasn't for me, you would be living such a perfect life right now." Jongin opens his mouth to protest but Chanyeol continues. "Every day, I'm scared. That you'll realize how reckless you were. That you'll leave me."

"Hyung, I wasn't happy." Jongin reaches forward to cup Chanyeol's face with his hand. His head is still spinning but when Chanyeol looks at him, pure bliss spreads throughout his entire body. "I wasn't happy until I met you. Don't leave me?"

"Silly." Chanyeol murmurs quietly. "You're the one that's always leaving me. Why do you always bring so many people home?"

"You know why." Jongin's voice is barely higher than a whisper. "You _know_ why."

Something seems to snap between them, and suddenly Chanyeol is surging forward, pulling Jongin in for a kiss. He parts Jongin's lips with his tongue and kisses him hard, rubbing their tongues together. He kisses him desperately, as if he was afraid that this wasn't going to last. When he pulls away, Jongin's lips are red and swollen. The younger flushes when he looks into Chanyeol's eyes and is met with a heated gaze.

"Don't do that anymore." Chanyeol whispers hoarsely.

"You're going to get sick."

Chanyeol responds to Jongin's warning by kissing him again, pushing him down against the sheets. He threads his hands through the other's hair, tugging lightly and causing a noise to escape the back of Jongin's throat. Jongin twines his arms around the older's neck, pulling him impossibly closer. A shiver runs down his spine when he feels Chanyeol's hands slip under his shirt, and he flushes a deep red when the older slides it over his head.

"Hyung─" Jongin gasps, when Chanyeol begins pressing open mouthed kisses down his neck and across his collarbones. His voice hitches when the older reaches a hardened nipple, and a loud, desperate moan escapes Jongin's lips when Chanyeol takes the hardened nub into his mouth. Jongin bites down onto the back of his hand and releases a muffled whimper when Chanyeol swirls his tongue around the bud. He arches his back with a mewl when the older begins gnawing gently on the sensitive nipple, and presses his chest against Chanyeol's mouth.

"Hyung, please." Jongin whimpers, pulling Chanyeol up for another kiss. The older licks into his mouth, grazing swollen lips with his teeth.

"What is it, Jonginnie?" Chanyeol asks without pulling his lips away. "Use your words."

"Hyung, please. I want you. Please, please fuck me."

"I'm not going to fuck you, Jonginnie." Chanyeol whispers, voice impossibly low as he nibbles on the younger's earlobe and presses sloppy, open-mouthed kisses to the sensitive patch of skin behind his ear. "I'm going to make love to you."  
  
  
  
  


 

When Jongin wakes up to an empty bed the next morning, he almost thinks that everything had been a dream. Almost, if not for the telltale ache in his lower regions. He lifts up the covers to inspect his body and flushes when he takes in the sight of his skin. There was a row of bite marks scattered across his collarbones that trailed across his chest and down his abdomen. He could even see some littering the insides of his thighs.

Jongin looks up at the sound of his door opening and quickly drops the covers, blushing when he sees Chanyeol leaning against the doorway.

"Hi." Chanyeol greets him quietly. There is a guarded expression in his eyes and he hesitates by the door, as if unsure about whether or not he should enter the room.

"Hi." Jongin rasps back, cringing at the sound of his voice.

"How's your fever?"

"Better." Chanyeol hums but doesn't say anything more and Jongin can feel his face fall at the older's coldness. "Hyung," He says after a moment of silence, stretching his arms out to the other. "Hold me?"

Chanyeol hesitates for a moment longer before he strides towards the younger and throws his arms around him, pulling him closely to his chest in a tight embrace. "Do you remember what you said last night?" He asks, his voice strained. Jongin nods against the older's chest, warm against his cheek. He can hear the sound of Chanyeol's heart beat. "Can you say it again?"

"I love you." Jongin whispers. Chanyeol's arms tighten around him.

"One more time."

"I love you."

Chanyeol holds Jongin for a moment longer, face pressed into the younger's hair as he inhales his scent. When he releases him the guarded look is back in his eyes, but Jongin can sense something else behind his gaze.

"I have to go now." Chanyeol says softly, "But I'll be back."

Jongin's face falls for a fraction of a second before he controls himself. That second is all it takes for Chanyeol to notice, though. "Okay." Jongin says quietly. "I'll wait for you."

"Don't be afraid." Chanyeol takes Jongin's hand in his and squeezes it reassuringly. "I'll come back to you."

"Okay." The nervousness Jongin had been feeling before disappears instantly when his gaze meets Chanyeol's. The unabashed endearment in the older's eyes is all Jongin needs to believe in him. "Hyung."

"Hm?"

"Kiss me?"

Chanyeol smiles at Jongin for the first time that morning, before he leans forward and complies, just like he always does.  
  
  
  
  


 

Weeks pass and nothing changes, although now everything is different. Chanyeol still wakes up early every morning to go to work, and Jongin still meets up with Sehun at the convenience store instead of going to school. They still dance around each other, fingers barely brushing, necessary words left unspoken, in a limbo of sorts.

Except now, Jongin finds Chanyeol's gaze lingering on him just a beat longer. Their hugs are just a bit tighter. Their kisses, just a bit deeper. The ache in Jongin's chest disappears whenever he sees the older's back, and right before he leaves every morning, the words _I love you_ slip from his lips. Chanyeol never says it back, but the look in his eyes is enough for Jongin.

For the first time in a long time, the fear in Jongin's chest has disappeared. For the first time in a long time, Jongin is happy again.

He should have known that this kind of happiness wouldn't last.

It happens on a Saturday. Saturdays were the worst because Jongin's boss always wanted him to work the late shift. He's just finished locking up the store and is about to head home when a familiar black car pulls up on the pavement. This time, however, the figure who gets out is not Chanyeol.

Jongin barely has any time to register what's going on before he's being forced into the backseat, a blindfold yanked over his head and a gag shoved into his mouth. He struggles weakly for a moment before he receives a sharp blow to the stomach and he coughs, sputtering around the gag. He hears voices speaking in a foreign language as his hands are bound behind him, and a shiver runs down his spine when he feels the car come to life.

Jongin isn't sure how long the car drives for, but before long he's being yanked to his feet and dragged through what felt like a long corridor. It isn't until he's forced to his knees on a cold ground that he finally hears a familiar voice.

"What are we waiting for?" The voice belongs to Chanyeol, only it sounds different. It sounds coy, _flirty_ almost. "You know I have to go soon."

"I know." Someone replies. The deep voice belongs to a male, and just the sound of it is enough to cause a shiver to run down Jongin's spine. "I have a present for you. Bring him in."

At that, Jongin is pulled to his feet once more and dragged across the cold surface. A sharp pain shoots up his legs when he's tossed to the ground once more and the blindfold is suddenly torn from his face. Jongin is momentarily blinded by brightness before his eyes adjust and the first thing he sees is Chanyeol's smiling face that is quickly wiped away by a look of horror. Besides him sat a man that Jongin had only ever seen in magazines and news articles before, the owner of Wu Corporations and Chanyeol's boss, Wu Yifan.

"What's going on?" Chanyeol asks, quickly masking his alarm behind a face of cold indifference.

"You don't recognize him?" Yifan asks, turning his attention to Jongin. The boy immediately flinches away from the cold gaze directed towards him and turns his gaze towards the cold ground.

Wu Corporations was a foreign company that had made it big in South Korea only a few years prior. It had quickly shot to fame and Wu Yifan was one of the richest men in the country. Jongin had joked along with everyone else about how he probably had connections with the underground world, but this, this was something he had never expected.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Chanyeol chokes out. Jongin glances up at him from the ground and sees that the older male's jaw is clenched. He tries to signal with his eyes that he's okay, that nothing has happened to him, but Chanyeol isn't looking at him.

"Really?" Yifan asks coldly, raising an eyebrow. "My sources seem to tell me differently."

"I don't know who he is."

"Is that so." Yifan glances back at Jongin and the boy can feel his skin crawl from the way the older male stares him up and down, as if he was a piece of meat. "Then I guess I'll keep him. He's not too bad to look at."

At that, Chanyeol's head snaps up in alarm. "Wait!" He starts, flushing when Yifan turns to look at him appraisingly. "He's my....." Chanyeol trails off nervously. He glances at Jongin once more before continuing. "My best friend."

"Your best friend." Yifan repeats, unamused. "That's funny, I don't remember ever fucking _my_ best friend before."

Chanyeol visibly pales at the older's words and Jongin feels as if his blood has turned to ice.

"Yifan don't─" Chanyeol whispers hoarsely. "Don't hurt him, please. Hurt me instead. Let him go."

"It's funny how everyone always says the same thing." Yifan releases a long, suffering sigh as he begins twirling the ring on his middle finger. "What makes you think that hurting you will satisfy me?"

"Yifan, please─"

"I'll make you a deal." Yifan says suddenly, cutting the other off. "You let me have the rest of the night with him." He motions to Jongin with a jerk of his chin. "And then we can all act like none of this had ever happened."

"What─" Chanyeol's face is ghostly pale, his voice stricken.

"That sounds like a good idea, take him away." Yifan says, motioning towards his men.

In a moment Chanyeol is surrounded and Jongin watches in alarm as two men grab him roughly by the arms and begin to drag him away.

"Yifan, stop!" Chanyeol shouts, struggling against his opponents to no avail. Jongin watches through wide eyes as he thrashes wildly in their hold. "He means nothing to me!" Chanyeol's voice grew more and more distant as the men dragged him away. "Don't touch him! Don't─"

A shudder runs down Jongin's spine when Chanyeol's voice fades away completely, and he looks back towards the older male watching him, shoulders tense.

"Jongin, is it?" Yifan asks calmly, motioning with a lazy flick of his fingers. Immediately one of the suited men standing beside him approaches Jongin, tearing the gag out of his mouth. The boy's chest heaves as he coughs violently, struggling to regain his composure.

"Yes, sir." Jongin rasps weakly once he's caught his breath.

"You look nervous." Yifan says, giving the boy a wry smile. "Are you frightened?"

"Yes."

"I could have you killed, you know?" Yifan asks calmly. "Both of you." He watches with sick humor as Jongin's eyes flash in alarm before he speaks again. "But I won't. In fact, I won't even touch you. If you decide to answer my questions."

"What would you like to know?" Jongin asks cautiously, before adding. "..Sir?"

"Tell me about Chanyeol."

"Chanyeol?"

"Yes." Yifan has an expression on his face that almost looks bored as he stares at the boy before him. "Chanyeol. How do you feel about him?"

Jongin hesitates for a moment before he decides to answer truthfully. "I would die for him." He says, voice trembling slightly when Yifan raises an eyebrow at him. "He means the world to me. If there was no Chanyeol, there would be no me."

"Hmm..." Yifan hums quietly to himself. "I asked him once if he was hiding a lover from me, and do you want to know what he said?"

"What?"

"He told me, 'he means so much more to me than that.'" Jongin blinks in surprise and Yifan continues speaking, an amused expression on his face. "I've always wanted to meet you, you know?"

"Me?" Jongin asks quietly.

"You don't really think I didn't know about your existence, do you?" Yifan raises an eyebrow once more and Jongin feels himself flush. "I did a full background check on Chanyeol when I met him, and of course I've seen you hanging around before too." Yifan says with a wave of his hand. "He never asked me for any presents, but he never rejected my money. I checked once and saw that he was spending it all on your tuition."

Jongin can feel the gaze of the older male on him but says nothing, choosing instead to keep his eyes glued to the hard ground.

"He must have been very afraid." Yifan says quietly. Jongin dares a glance in the older's direction only to find that Yifan wasn't looking at him at all. Instead, he was staring off into space, as if he was talking to himself. "When you love someone as much as he loves you, you have everything to lose."

"Chanyeol..." Jongin begins quietly, face heating up when Yifan directs his attention at him once more. "I don't know how to be with Chanyeol."

"Why is that?"

"I'm a burden to him." The boy continues softly. "But I can't help it. I'm selfish. I know I should let him go for his own sake, but I just can't. That's the only thing I can't do. I need him in my life. Just that is enough. As long as he is by my side, I can do anything. Even if that means I can only call myself his best friend."

Yifan releases a low chuckle when Jongin finishes speaking and the boy looks at him in surprise. "You know, it's funny." He says, amused. "Chanyeol said something similar about you." Jongin opens his mouth to protest in surprise but the older cuts him off before he can speak. "As fun as this conversation is, I think you should go now."

Jongin blinks, stunned. "What?"

"Unless you would like to stay."

"No thank you... Sir..." Jongin mumbles, flustered, as Yifan nods in his direction. One of his men approaches the boy again, only this time it's to untie his bonds and pull him to his feet.

"Tao will take you home." Yifan says motioning to the man who had just untied him. "It was nice meeting you, Jongin."

Jongin blinks, stunned, as Tao begins dragging him away, but before he gets very far, he asks in a small voice. "Why are you just letting me go like this?"

Yifan watches him silently, blinking twice, before he responds in a low voice. "I really loved him, you know?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the time Jongin finally returns home, the sky is beginning to turn light. He trudges up to his apartment in exhaustion, only to find a warm body colliding with his the moment he opens the front door.

"Jonginnie!" Chanyeol gasps, clutching the boy's arms as he pulls him inside and slams the door shut behind him. "Are you okay? Did Yifan─ Did he touch you?"

"Hyung, did you wait here all night?" Jongin asks in alarm, taking in the older's appearance. Chanyeol is deathly pale, dark bags under his eyes.

"Did he do anything to you?" The older demands, ignoring his question.

"I'm fine, hyung." Jongin reassures him, reaching up to cup the older's face with both of his hands. "Yifan didn't touch me."

It takes a moment for the younger's words to sink in before Chanyeol finally relaxes, slumping down against Jongin's body as he wraps him in a tight hug. "Thank goodness," He whispers, voice hoarse. "I was so worried. Thank god."

"I'm okay." Jongin murmurs, stroking the older's back reassuringly.

Chanyeol holds him for a moment longer before he suddenly pulls away, his expression urgent. "Jonginnie, there's something I have to say." He says, clutching the boy's face in his hands. "I was so afraid I wouldn't have a chance to say it to you."

"What is it?"

Chanyeol stares Jongin in the eyes, straight in the eyes, and even without speaking, Jongin already knows what he's going to say.

"I love you." He whispers. Jongin's breath hitches but the older continues without giving him a chance to respond. "I love you so much. You're my everything. I love you the way you love me, even _more_ than you love me. I can't be without you. If there's no you then there's no me. Don't ever leave me, please─"

Jongin cuts the older off by leaning forward to press a kiss to Chanyeol's lips. "Silly," he murmurs without pulling away, a smile forming on his lips. "You were the one who was trying to leave me."

  
  
  
  
  


A few weeks later, Jongin returns home tugging a large bag behind him. He sets it down on the floor of the apartment before calling out to Chanyeol who is busy working in the kitchen. The older had started coming home earlier after he quit working at Wu Corporation and gotten a new job at a different company.

"Hyung!" Jongin shouts as he settles down on the couch. "Come here, I have a surprise for you!"

"What is it, Jonginnie?" Chanyeol asks, walking towards him. He pauses when he sees the bag, eyebrow raising. "What's this?"

"Open it."

The older hesitates for a moment before he takes a seat on the floor and unzips the bag. He blinks in shock once he has the cover up, and he looks at Jongin in surprise. "Jonginnie, this─" Inside of the bag was his old guitar.

"I bought it back for you!" Jongin says excitedly, grinning at the older.

"But how?"

"Well..." The younger says nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his palm. "Promise you won't be mad."

"Jonginnie."

"I actually... haven't been going to school for a few months now." Jongin peeks at the older and sees that Chanyeol is gaping at him, on the brink of exploding. "Let me explain!" Jongin says quickly before the older can speak. "I've been working!"

" _Jonginnie!_ "

"I didn't want to use his money to pay for my tuition!" Jongin says loudly. Chanyeol freezes and the boy takes a deep breath before he continues. "I don't want to be a burden to you any longer."

"Jonginnie, you're not a burden─"

"Please." Jongin interrupts, frowning at the older male. "I don't want you to work so hard for me. I don't want to depend on you. I want to be with you without weighing you down."

Chanyeol's eyes flash for a moment longer, as if he still wanted to fight, before a sigh escapes his lips. "I'll never be able to convince you otherwise, will I?"

"Nope."

"Fine. Have it your way." The older grumbles before he seems to realize something. "But I can't believe you've been lying to me for so long! And to think that I thought you were going to school this whole time! No wonder why you never seem to have any schoolwork─"

"Hyung!" Jongin says cutely, leaning forward to press a kiss to the older's cheek. Chanyeol immediately shuts up, flushing when the younger blinks at him adoringly. "Play me a song?"

"You're lucky that you're cute..." Chanyeol grumbles, smiling in spite of himself as he leans down to pick up his old guitar.

  
  
  
  
  


Jongin is sitting at an intersection waiting for Chanyeol when he bumps into the boy again. He's busy reading a text from Sehun ( _movie night tomorrow?_ ) when he hears someone call his name. He looks up from his phone and recognizes the speaker immediately, although he can't remember his name.

"Hi..." He says awkwardly, wracking his brains as the boy just smiles at him knowingly.

"You don't remember my name, do you?" The other asks, "Well, I never took you as a guy to remember the name of a one night stand."

"Sorry." Jongin apologizes, flushing slightly. It had been a long time since he had brought anyone home.

"Don't worry." The other male laughs. "It's Luhan."

"Right, Luhan. Hi." Before Jongin can say anything else, a warm arm slips possessively around his waist and he looks up in surprise as Chanyeol joins them.

"Hey." He says, although his eyes are glued on the stranger.

"Ah, it's the best friend." Luhan says cheekily, eyeing the arm around Jongin's waist with unabashed interest.

"I'm not his best friend." Chanyeol answers coolly, his arm tightening around Jongin. "I'm his boyfriend."

"Really?" Luhan asks, amused. "Well, I'll see you around then, I guess. Bye, Jongin!" He waves at the younger boy before walking away, disappearing quickly into the crowd.

Chanyeol releases a sigh once the other is gone and shakes his head, frowning at the younger male. Jongin is too busy staring at the older, eyes wide with amazement.

"My boyfriend has so many admirers." Chanyeol sighs dramatically, frowning at the younger. "What am I ever going to do?"

"Say it again." Jongin says bluntly.

"What?" The older asks cheekily.

"You know."

Chanyeol laughs before he leans forward to press a kiss to Jongin's left cheek. "Boyfriend," he whispers before pressing a kiss to his nose. "Boyfriend." He says again, kissing Jongin's other cheek. "Boyfriend." A kiss to Jongin's forehead. "Boyfriend." A kiss to his chin. "Boyfriend." Chanyeol says slowly, smiling at the younger before leaning forward to press a warm kiss to Jongin's mouth. Jongin returns it enthusiastically, eyelashes fluttering against his cheek as he smiles into the kiss.

On some days, Jongin is in love with the words best friends. On others, he hates those words with a passion.

But boyfriend. He could get used to that.


End file.
